


Wishing

by EzraTheBlue



Series: One Word [4]
Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 05:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraTheBlue/pseuds/EzraTheBlue
Summary: In the aftermath of their schism, Goku seems to be looking for something. Gojyo is convinced to inquire.





	Wishing

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a one-word prompt: "Wishing"

_Wishing_

“He’s been over there a while.” Gojyo exhaled a stream of smoke towards the moon and kicked his legs out, always grateful for the extra space to stretch out. Hakkai, busy tending the pot on the fire, glanced up to where Gojyo pointed his toe, to Goku sitting sprawled on the dusty ground, knees hugged to his chest and his nose pointed at the bright moon. Gojyo had no idea what he was staring for; they’d been sleeping with the stars as the only ceiling for days now, and the moon hadn’t changed, only gotten bigger, now looking almost too huge where it loomed in the night sky. It had been bright enough to keep him awake last night, cutting the darkness and killing what weak sleep he got. Goku hadn’t complained about it, though Gojyo had heard him tossing and turning, but seeing him sitting and staring like this was too weird. Hakkai let his mouth twitch with discomfort, but returned his attention to their evening meal. 

“He has been a bit contemplative of late, but then, the three of us have been through a lot lately, haven’t we?” Hakkai found himself glancing to the empty space around the fire that they still left, out of habit, or maybe even fanciful whim that it might be filled. Gojyo grunted, and looked back to Goku.

“Think one of us should maybe talk to him?” 

“Perhaps.” Hakkai gave the thin gruel in the pot another stir, first clockwise, then widdershins. “Perhaps it should be you.”

“You think?” Gojyo raised an eyebrow, and Hakkai nodded.

“I’m cooking, after all.” Hakkai shone that bright smile at him, so shiny, like a flash off a camera, and as artificial as a model’s in a teeth-whitening advertisement. “If I stop cooking, he’ll have to wait longer for dinner, and you know he’ll disapprove.”

Gojyo rolled his eyes, because the logic was sound on the surface, and trying to counter it with the truth would dig up a whole lot of stuff that he knew he just wasn’t ready to deal with yet. “Yeah, lemme see if whatever he’s pondering might’a killed his appetite, and he’ll let me eat his share.”

Gojyo only faintly heard Hakkai’s chiding, “You know he won’t,” as he got up, any false levity wicked out of his voice, but Gojyo couldn’t give him grief for not maintaining his usual cheerful facace. His legs and back were still sore as his feet landed on the earth, and he trudged over to Goku and plopped back down into a sit just next to him. 

Goku didn’t turn his attention from the sky, the moon reflected bright white in his eyes, but he lifted a hand when Gojyo sat. “Hey.” His voice was just a little wobbly, but Gojyo couldn’t blame him for that. Kid had lost a hell of a lot of blood, it was a miracle he could still talk at all, let alone this soon. 

“Hey, monkey. Don’t you know you might drown staring at the moon like that?” Gojyo grinned and gave Goku’s shoulder a little jostle. Goku chuckled.

“Only if I chase its reflection, duh. Nah, not lookin’ at the moon. I’m waiting for a shooting star.”

“Is that what you’re up to?” Gojyo looked out at the vast expanse of sky. “That’s a lotta sky to watch. They’re kinda random, too.” 

“Yeah, so I’m waiting. I figure if I wait long enough, it might show up.” Goku rocked back and forth on his hips a little, a smile lifting his cheeks just a touch. “I gotta make a wish!”

Gojyo felt his heart sink. “A wish, huh? Lemme guess, it’s for one more smoker in the Jeep, huh?”

“Well, I dunno.” Goku stopped wiggling and shrugged. “Part of me wants Sanzo to just, y’know, come back, but he had his reasons for leaving, I guess.”

“I’d love for him to come back so I can hear ‘em.” Gojyo ground his molars and rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, well.” Goku pulled a face. “But… I guess part of me wants to wish that wherever he is, he’s happy.” Goku put a hand over his chest. “Me and him came so far together, and kinda like he’s seen me grow up, I’ve seen him change. He was happier than he was when I met him.” Goku sighed a little. “And I was happy, too. Happier than anything else I can remember, and now everything feels just a little more dark and cold without him, but if he’s happy… it’s something, right?”

Gojyo studied Goku’s face for a few seconds, and remembered those few seconds when the world had felt too dark and cold, when he’d thought he’d lost the person who’d changed him just the same way, and the relief when his eyes had come back to life and his heart had restarted under his palms. Gojyo wasn’t ready to dig all that up yet, either, but he was grateful he wasn’t digging another hole. If Hakkai was happy and alive, that was something, at least.

“I get it.” Gojyo kicked some dust out. “Well, uh, I’d look thataway.” He pointed vaguely west. “This time’a year, they’ll come from over there, I think. S’what Jien told me, anyway. He took astronomy in school, and all.”

“You think?” Goku glanced for the western horizon, and smiled a little brighter. “Makes as much sense as anything else. I think maybe the moon’s too bright this way, anyway. Couldn’t see anything as special as a shooting star from there, right?”

“Right.” Gojyo, too, tried to look past the pale moonlight for a shooting star, and tried to think of something to wish for. Even if it was just for a little more strength to dig in and push through, for dinner to be a little thicker, for someone to maybe be happy again, or even for the moon to glower a little less bright. Gojyo was ready for things to be a little less hard, but he had no better ideas for how to do it than just wishing and hoping.

And yet, even then, he was reminded of another old saying beyond monkeys and moons:  _“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see what fills up first.”_

The moon seemed to be laughing at him, outshining any shooting star either of them might have wished on.


End file.
